We Wait For Our Tomorrow

I find myself sitting in this room once again. Hands tucked under the lap, face cold and body still, the worried heart does the much needed pacing. Comfort is hardly found in the waiting room, just nervousness bracing for bad news. The mind swerves in a repeated frenzy of a grandfather clock as the sick feeling of anticipation creeps in. I rationed the memories from the photo albums in my head, allowing only one visitation at a time, a snippet of hope at a time - Christmas dinner in the hall, cheesy mashed potatoes with ham, happy faces painted on old pictures...

Everything has changed again, and I want to believe
There must be a reason (there just has to be)
My faith is strong, till it hits home
And it's not enough for me to trust
When it hurts a little too much

Theo came too late, he had already ran away. In such occasions, hardwork has become a necessity, for they need more strength, more advice, more composure, more love. But who has that kind of capacity? Who has what rights? Answers doesn't really matter, for now we only acknowledge winners and entertain mind games. Quietness has become a popular strategy, where you listen and fight, display strength and hide the similar weakness of feeling. You live in an imaginary world where numbness is celebrated and smiles measured, you live in plesant bitterness. It is all beginning again, the grand battle for the monopoly of the currency of Right. Hello there, agonizing adventure. I welcome you, I welcome your words and I welcome your burden.

I tapped my fingers as I rocked myself on the drab plastic chair. Sitting and waiting, amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines, I looked at the grey tiles beneath my shuffling feet. I was beginning to feel scared. Just then, a door opens. And the nurse comes in. Everyone lifts up their heads anxiously, but me. I'm still sitting and waiting...

I was waiting for You.

In my frailty, You lead me to something more
I close my eyes, and inside my heart
I believe, that I'm not alone
You'll always be there for me
Cause I believe You'll lead me to something more